


Kili isn't a damsel in distress

by lostel



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: I can't tell if this is crack or not, Incest, Kink Meme, M/M, Sibling Incest, bamf!Kili, brother's making out, don't piss off Thorin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-17
Updated: 2013-01-17
Packaged: 2017-11-25 19:32:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/642260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostel/pseuds/lostel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kili gets kidnapped because his Uncle is the king</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kili isn't a damsel in distress

**Author's Note:**

> un-betad all mistakes are mine.

The first thing he heard was whispering above him.

“Is that him?”

“It ‘as to be, they said the ‘ittle one used the bow.”

“Aye but why this one? The blonde is Thorin’s heir, we could’a got more gold from him.” The first voice spoke up again.

“Yeah but Fohrim said this one’d be easier to control being so ‘ittle an all.”

Kili mentally rolled his eyes. Whoever had taken him obviously knew he was Thorin Oakenshields nephew. He kept his breathing even and slow; listening to men talk back and forth about the plan.

“Boss says he’ll have fifteen men hidden here when he has the dwarves come to meet him here in three days.”

Kili sighed, _might as well wait it out so I don’t have to waste time looking for Uncle. Fili must be having kittens by now._ He covered a laugh at the image with a cough and groan acting like he just woke.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**_Hours earlier_ **

“Hurry brother! We need to finish the traps and return or Uncle will send someone to find us.” Kili gasped as Fili tightened the hold on his wrists.

Fili said nothing, kissing him instead as he ground himself against Kili. They both moaned frantically both trying to finish quickly. They both came with a gasp, shaking as their orgasms washed over them. They lay there panting sharing lazy kisses enjoying the afterglow.

“Been far too long since I last tasted your skin.” Fili murmured against Kili’s throat.

“Much too long.” Kili agreed.

The pair didn’t move from the other’s grasp for many moments until they heard a distant yell from Thorin.

“That’s our cue.” Kili whispered, they helped clean each other up sharing one last kiss as they got dressed, “Go set a few over there, I thought I saw a rabbit’s nest on this side.” Fili nodded, they divided the traps then set off in opposite directions.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Fili stepped back into the camp site, eyes roaming automatically to find his brother. His eyes narrowed when he didn’t see the other, “Has Kili not come back yet?” He asked drawing attention of the others to him. Kili was always the first back as he was the fastest at setting the traps.

“He hasn’t.” Thorin replied brow furrowing.

“Give him some time lad, he might have caught something already and decided to set the trap again.” Dwalin spoke up. Fili still looked unsure but nodded.

“Alright.”

When Kili didn’t return when the sun started to set everyone started worrying.

“Bofur, Bilbo, stay here wait to see if Kili returns. The rest of us are going to go out and search. The two nodded and the rest of the company set out following Fili to where he last saw him. They found his trail easily enough and followed it down a small hill. The group branched out yelling out for the lost dwarf.

“Thorin!” Nori’s voice rang out, panicked.

Fili took off, Thorin close behind until they found Nori. The dwarf was kneeling on the ground near a trap that was only halfway finished. The rest of the company joined around them muttering.

“Something happened here.” Nori said looking back at the king.

Opening his mouth to reply, Ori interrupted him, “Look here’s his bow and quiver!” Fili raced over.

“It also looks like there was a scuffle.” His eyes widened and he turned to his Uncle, “You don’t think someone?”

Thorin’s face was grim when he answered, “Yes, someone kidnapped him.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

They made their way back to camp silently; when they reached the site Bilbo and Bofur looked up expectantly.

Thorin said nothing going straight to his pack and began taking out his supplies to sharpen his sword.

No one else said anything as they sat around the fire. Bilbo shared a look with Bofur, clearing his throat.

“What did you find?”

“He’s been kidnapped.” Fili spoke up after a long silence.

Bilbo’s eyes widened, “K-kidnapped? Why would someone kidnap him?”

“He’s a king’s nephew; and he’s small, easy to take for a ransom.” Thorin growled, “Whoever did so will rue the day they lay a finger on my kin.”

The company was quiet the rest of the night, only the sound of stone sharpening steel breaking the silence.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Day broke the next day and Thorin was already up horse packed, ready to leave.

“Make a quick breakfast, we ride to the next town, make sure all know we’re there. I imagine those thugs will hear about it and try to get a message to us.” Thorin stated, everyone nodded hurrying to eat and pack.

Suddenly Bilbo screamed the same time a dull thud was heard. Everyone gathered quickly weapons ready. There was an arrow in the ground with parchment wrapped around it that Bilbo was staring at.

“Some…man came over that ledge and shot at me! He shot at me!” Bilbo whispered frantically, Thorin looked up at the ledge growling. It was too high to climb quickly to catch anyone.

“You’re fine; he was just making sure this was found.” He hissed taking the parchment off the arrow.

“Meet at the house on the hill in two days. We’ll discuss payment for your nephew when you arrive.” Thorin screamed crumbling the note, “They will pay in blood for touching my kin.” He vowed.

Fili nodded clenching his fist, “If they have hurt one hair on my brother it will be double.”

They packed quickly after that not wanting to waste time. They reached the next town quickly, finding room at an inn. Thorin sent out Nori, Dori, Gloin and Bifur to wonder around town and fine out about the house on the hill. The rest gathered in his room to plan.

“They’re going to have men there ready to ambush.” Dwalin said reluctantly, the others nodded in agreement.

“They must think you carry gold with you Uncle, why else grab Kili when we are traveling?” Fili added.

Thorin only grunted in acknowledgement.

By the time the four dwarves returned, it was nightfall and a plan was set.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next day was spent readying their weapons and going over the plan.

When night fell they were all restless.

“We’ll get him back, get some sleep, you do us no good if you’re too tired to fight.” Balin spoke calmly as he had the whole day to Thorin and Fili, “Go get some dinner then come up to rest.”

One by one the others took Balin’s advice disappearing downstairs for food then to their own room for rest.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“I’m bored! Don’t you have anything to do around here?” Kili yelled to the group of men sitting across the room.

He sighed loudly when he was ignored, “How about food then? A starving captive won’t do you any good.” He grinned when one of the men, the leader, turned his way scowling.

“Shut it or I’ll shut it for you.” He threatened.

“I’m sorry was that a threat? My Uncle is much scarier when he’s pissed about me forgetting to tie a lace.” He laughed at his own joke and the leader pushed back from the table, stomping over to him.

He grabbed a grinning Kili by the shirt picking him up. The chains holding his wrist rattled.

“If you don’t shut your mouth, I’m going to cut your pretty face in half. Then when your Uncle comes tomorrow, I’ll be able to tell him I did him a favor.”

Kili’s grin faded, “He’s coming here tomorrow?” He asked

“Yeah and good riddance you almost aren’t worth the ransom.”

The sound of chains hitting the floor made the room go deathly silent.

“Well good news, I would have been worth a pretty piece of gold, bad news is you should’ve grabbed the other brother.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The dwarves plus Bilbo made it to the house just as daylight broke over the horizon.

“Alright Bilbo go see what the situation is.” Thorin whispered.

Bilbo swallowed hard, looking at Thorin, and then set off quickly without a sound to the house. The Dwarves watched as he snuck up to a window peering inside. Fili and Thorin’s brows furrowed in confusion when Bilbo ran back over looking confused as well.

“He’s cooking.”

“Who’s cooking?”

“Kili.”

“Kili is cooking?”

They exchanged glances then turned to Bilbo again.

“Was there anyone else in there?” Thorin demanded.

“Not that I saw.”

The group said nothing.

“It has to be an ambush; they’re using him as bait, hiding themselves to surprise us.” Bofur spoke up and the others agreed.

“Alright new plan,” Thorin hushed the company, “We sneak in quietly, get prepared to attack then let them know we’re there.” Everyone nodded and they set off to the house.

The door swung open without a squeak allowing them to enter without notice. Walking through the house on tip-toes they kept their weapons at the ready.

Thorin opened doors as they went, getting only more confused when they found no one. They came to the kitchen, the last room, and Thorin pushed the door open and they tumbled into it…and froze.

Bodies littered the floor, un-moving. Confused they stepped further in stepping around and over bodies. The fire was going, something obviously cooking.

Kili stood up from behind the table humming, wiping off a blade, he turned and upon seeing them grinned widely, “Morning everyone, what took you so long? I was expecting you last night! Anyone up for breakfast?”

**Author's Note:**

> Hobbit kink meme fill for the prompt of Kili isn't a damsel in distress, he gets kidnapped because of who his uncle is, cue panic and planning on everyone's part to get their little Kili back. When they arrive, bodies are everywhere and he's cooking dinner, and asks them what took them so long.


End file.
